Car Thief Gets Arrested After Seeking Refuge in Port-a-Potty

When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. When a car thief in Glendale, Wisconsin fled police on Wednesday, not only did he choose the wrong time, but also the wrong location.

The man who fled a violent police chase in Glendale Wisconsin believed he found the perfect hiding place inside a porta-potty on a golf course.

It did not go well.

Last Wednesday, Glendale Police chased an SUV that had four people in it. The four people inside the SUV got out after the vehicle collided with several other vehicles. They then ran in different directions.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that one ducked into a porta-potty near a group golfers at the Lincoln Park Golf Course.

The suspect clearly pitted himself against both the wits of the golfer and his willingness to play. He came out Number Two. He was taken to jail and given a towel, which he presumably used to wipe his worries. Even so, the car was stolen and that’s a bad thing. At least the golfers were quick to catch the criminal.

We’re both looking at each other like, “Are you kidding? Is that where he will hide? Ilissa Borland, one of the golfers, told a newspaper.

Ilissa’s golfing companion approached the porta-potty, and after discovering that the door was locked, he decided to assist the police. He turned the porta-potty so that the door was facing downwards, thereby trapping the suspect, and called for police.

Consider the basic structure of a port-a-potty. After spending a week cleaning them in Army Basic Training during “details week,” I am very familiar with their basic design. It hasn’t changed much since the early 1980s. There is a tall plastic container with a door that locks on the inside. Then there are the receptacles to hold the setters and pointers, as well as the tank below, which contains chemicals. When I was a child in Northeast Iowa, we used the type that sat over a hole dug in the ground. The port-a-potty shown here is clearly the modern version.

This tank is not sealed. If you look through the hole through which you do your “necessary”, (I wouldn’t recommend this), then you would see the tank full of chemicals and…other substances. It’s not chocolate but a similar color.

Consider the possible consequences of one unit being tipped onto its side. Also, what could happen to someone inside that unit if it were to be tipped? That’s correct; the chemicals and byproducts that you would find on the streets in San Francisco are now covering the fleeing criminal. Even if the car thief is dealing with some pretty nasty stuff, I don’t have much sympathy for him. However, it is appropriate to have some sympathy for those police officers who were forced to transport the befouled culprit, as he was almost certainly covered in the crap that people sometimes throw on the steps of City Hall as a protest.

The golfer with quick thinking who understood at a glance what to do in a sticky situation deserves a big thank you. The thief, and his less smelly compatriots, were caught.