Why Was Arnold Schwarzenegger Detained at the Airport?

NBC News reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger, the legendary action star, was arrested at an airport in Munich this week over an alleged tax issue. Wink, wink. Guess his trip has been “terminated” prematurely. There are about a thousand and a half lame dad jokes that I could make about Arnold. Take that as a warning before you continue reading.

Thomas Meister, the spokesman for the Munich Customs Office told members of RTL’s German broadcasting company that “criminal tax proceedings were initiated by us.” The criminal and fines department will process this.

You probably think I’m crazy. This must be a big, juicy story for Schwarzenegger’s arrest. This is incorrect, though, because it appears that the whole scandal has to do with what’s being called a ‘luxury timepiece. It’s possible he did not buy it in the jewelry section of Walmart. What exactly makes a “luxury” watch different than a regular one? How can one determine the quality of a watch by a certain set of features?

The problem is that the “Terminator” star brought the watch to the country while he was traveling from his native Austria to attend a charity event. According to an anonymous source “close” to Schwarzenegger, this is what was said. This same person also confirmed that Schwarzenegger fully cooperated, but did not hesitate to criticize German officials for their “incompetence.”

The individual who spoke to reporters from NBC said, “He cooperated in every step even though it was a complete comedy of errors and an incompetent sting operation. It would have made a funny cop film.”

The actor’s full cooperation did not resolve the matter despite the two-and-a-half-hour detention. Guess “he’ll return.” Add another wink.

Meister commented that it was too early to predict the outcome of the situation. There are many factors to consider. “It will take time.”

What was Arnold thinking while he was detained? Was he planning some kind of daring escape, where he went full Jack Slater knocking out dudes by making reference to the elbow on his jacket? You’re a fan if you understand the reference. Was he more laid-back and relaxed, like the character in one of his comedies? You know, the guy he played in Twins or something?

In its report, NBC reported that “the source close to Schwarzenegger stated that he agreed to prepay any taxes on an expensive item but could not find a functioning credit card machine.” The source stated that officers escorted Schwarzenegger to the ATM in the airport so he could withdraw cash, but the limit of withdrawal was too low. Also, the bank was shut. The second credit card machine was working and the tax had been paid.

The charity event took place in Kitzbuhel and included a dinner with an auction to raise funds for a climate organization that Schwarzenegger is involved with.

The source said that the watch would likely be auctioned off tomorrow. Schwarzenegger Climate Initiative, like all of Arnold’s non-profits, will report the event properly.

Arnold was supposed to be the host of this event. The money raised would go to various environmental projects. So, it seems that the T-800, a gnarly, cybernetic creature sent from the distant future to kill John Connor as the leader in the human resistance is just another liberal treehugger. This is disappointing.